shutting down to open up...

hmmm.... the young white man who decided it was good idea to place a button on a keyboard that can single handedly shut the entire computer down must have been out of his mind...he should have known about folks like me who cant really type...

reality is in for 2007...philly is in a state of crisis...i am constantly surrounded by young girls with babies..in cheap ass strollers...like human accessories out here...with matching outfits...i had to check my maternal urge for wanting a baby..and i found out it may be due to the advertisements walking around me...dude wearong prison fashion...what kind of black man walks around with "state property" on his fucking back and doesnt get ithe proverbial "it"...so much shit...im fasting as well day 3...trying to see about this here "will" of mine!...

ill be in atl for a moment very soon...shout out to genius for the ill paper...and moon for the ill summer project...oohwee...i think we may be the shit...since this year has been deemed by me the year to "make thing real"..and we are...im wondering if my students this summer will accept this new addition to my face...so im thinking after we go out and handle this world for a while we need to collaborate on a serious ass piece of work..not like in feeling but intent...lets make this here thang real...solid...i came to philly to become "real"...in my work not person..and i feel like i am...got a grant-finished some projects...got some work...this adult thing gets no easier...happiness gets real tough to secure time for aside from all the bullshit...friends get fewer...friend get more "real"...life gets bigger..i find myself having to detatch the way i thought as a child even still...i find myself reaching back to think as i thought as a child as well...

after i finish my film im free and though we will be everywhere..we will still be... i dig the randomness potential..so id like to see something that comes out like crazy-sane...
i keep drawing my lines-literally...
later;)

with a bump bump bump

I amso HECK OF excited right now. That last post just really brought it home. I've been .. just thinkin.. bout what really matters to me... and not just some pondering type shit.. but some really
choosing type stuff.

I am searching for Abbey Lincoln. I am trying to get in contact with this famous infamous citizen of life. And found out she was in the hospital this past March. She lives in NYC I found out today. I am searching upon the knowledge and the connections, the web of jazz musicians and they have a web like no other, these old men and younger men and singers and ladies and players and years upon years and who played that instrument with who on this cuton that year, it is a steadily reaching back upon blueness unto and into the years- my friend George, my Baba in Memphis, jazz professors here at Wes. I am searching reaching out my feelign hand for this woman in the dark which is the light and the hand its own beacon.. it can see and find itself in the most voracious dark.. i am reaching forth..

this summer.. i have been planning you know.. but when it happens it will be the wind and you can never truly plan your day, you can shape it, envision it, but when the wind comes it is the shape of vision and more than you could have conceived... life is the not knowing within the knowing.. knowing of the knowing not.. and going.. coming.. we are coming
here...and to where you are

and with this man.. with this last message i can feel the solemn particles of our existence speckling themselves with the fragrance and specificity of stars, coming in on down together..

i can feel that solar wind..

and yes who could have said that we would all be sparked off in different directions.. bound towards the uncommon yet common goal.. the being.. the meing.. weing past certainty..

i can come back here.. i can come back here and kind of know a sacred pact that oversedes and supersedes and undersees.. under sees ya know

have you all heard of the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers?
well i would like to go meet them, they are meeting this june in south dakota
that is an idea i am throwing upon the solar wind to see where it goes..

i have been having a torturous time with this planetary geology class but it is affording me
heck of joyous new metaphors

citizens ho!

yup. every once in a blue blooming moon when i get on here i say something to the effect of: it's time.

well, it's still time.

let me frame this moment: we are a diaspora. who knew why we were all to disperse after the fateful sticky-sweet spring of 2005? since then i've regressed, progressed, gone in circles, ascended to the gods, danced in the fire w the devils, been some places seen some folks been a voodoo goddess a rogue a pirate a scoundrel a hot mama a shy girl a genius a slacker a heroine a homie...

[i'm digging the elipses real hard these days tiona. i really had to come into that one on my own. thanks for paving the way. it's one of those things like billie holiday or led zeppelin, that you really have to grow into. and you were doing it from way back when.]

...but always a CITIZEN.

there wasn't so much that needed to be spoken about it. and still, i think we are reaching into the ether to figure out exactly what it is that wants to be said.

i know this, though: citizens worldwide like dandelion seeds!

appleseed is blowing up the globe! ok?!! geeze.

wizard is cooking up that magic in philadelphia.

dungy and the ant are about to rip africa a new third eye. she'll start from the bottom, i'll start from the top.

that's the moment i'm framing. not to mention the hundreds of people we collectively love, uninaugarated citizens who need no innaugaration. not to mention the thousands of citizens we have never met.

but we four are about to take over this world, and i can only guess it's bc life has longed for us, the world has called her citizens to do their worst. and their best. unrehearsed.

what are we doing with our collective transnational moment is what i want to know. i think the tenets are still as true as ever, and in fact i find them in some eerie ways to be more true. like we didn't even fully know what we were talking about at the time but boy it was talking!!

please beleive i'm going to be a citizen in morocoo. and raleigh. and atlanta. and cairo!! and mobassa! and cameroon. life is too addicted to me man! she don't want to give me up.

and i know you three. and geeze those knowldeges get me to quaking. and shivering. so i know we're going to be citizens...

but is there something particular we're going to speak to the world? and though we will speak it with our unspoken, pre-spoken, and post-spoken lives, will we also speak it into some kind of structure? what does it look like? what's it like to bring the brigade across the world. bc we're not just individuals.

WE'RE a BRIGADE. millions strong.

what do we want to say collectively? and how do we go abou saying it?