seen and not heard

thinking the other day about how there is no way to know when you are playing on a playgound that this is the last time you will slide down a slide, or play on the monkey bars. there is no way to know that after you walk off of the sand and out of those gates, you will be too grown for such things amd you will never return. and how old are you? 12? 13? 14? when you walk, without knowing, into this final, last future, where your feet will hardly leave the ground. like when was the last time i went to playspace, which was a wonderful place that was like a whole town with an atm machine and a hospital and a theater but it was all make-beleive, play things, and it was all for little kids. when was the last time i went there? i will never know. i never can.

last times. last times do not exist, they cannot exist until they no longer exist.

easily, easily, i could become a creepy old woman, of the kind that lurk around playgrounds. i already may be that woman today. but where is the fun until i'm wrinkled and stooped? and there would be rumors that i was a witch. no joke. and probably some kid would wander into my house, which would be very magical, and i would be this secret, magical, creepy old lady. the things one fantasizes about!

other things that do not exist:

-fear

-anger

-jealousy

-hysteria!

look past them, citizens.

transcend this shit! transcend this shit, and make some new shit, shit that isn't shit at all.

will we still poop in the new world?